


I Mean, It's Not In A Box

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Plausible Deniability [6]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Domestic, F/M, First Time, Kidfic, Lactation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 15:49:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13149873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Holly offers Dan a special Christmas gift.





	I Mean, It's Not In A Box

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HerbertBest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/gifts).



> Edited by Angel!
> 
> Happy holidays, to my favorite writing buddy, & one of my best fandom friends! May we have many more together!
> 
> <3

"It's Christmas," Holly said into Dan's neck, snuggling up to his back, her face in his neck.

"Mmm," Dan said, rolling onto his other side, and pulling her into his chest, nuzzling his face into the top of her head.

They had gone to Jersey for Channukah - Wren had gotten her first experience with snow, and had squealed with joy. 

She had been spoiled by all of her relatives; Dan's mother had almost refused to give her back, Avi had sung to her in Hebrew, Dan's grandmother had fussed over her and gifted her with who knew how many little knitted sweaters.

Poor kid was going to be the most spoiled baby on either coast.

Not that Dan was going to complain.

Or Holly, for that matter.

"Merry Christmas," Holly said, and she yawned again. "This may be the last one where we get to sleep late."

"She's not awake yet?" 

Dan got up on an elbow, looking over Holly's side. 

Holly sighed, pulling him closer to her, nuzzling her nose under his chin, taking in his familiar scent. 

"Nope," said Holly, her voice quiet.

"... but Ross is?"

"Ross is with Morgan, remember?"

"Right, right," said Dan, and he yawned. "Just feels weird to not have him drooling next to you."

Ross's partner Morgan, who wasn't on the best terms with their family of origin, had asked to spend Christmas with them, and who was Holly to refuse her metamour?

Especially when said metamour had promised to make them a proper Christmas dinner, complete with vegetarian delights, and also was willing to watch the baby. 

"I've got a special surprise for you today," Holly told Dan, and she nuzzled into his neck, then kissed along his jaw.

"Yeah? What is it?"

His hand was coming around to stroke her back, his long fingers spanning across her shoulder blades.

She shuddered, her eyes sliding shut, and he smiled, kissing down from her forehead to her mouth, and then they were kissing, well and truly kissing, belly to belly, breathing each other's breath, their tongues sliding together wetly.

And then Wren woke up.

She made a fussy noise, and there was rustling sounds as she squirmed, and Holly was sitting up, to pick her up, fuss over her.

"Hi," Holly said, leaning over Wren, and the baby stared up at Holly and smiled, her face open and soft. 

"Hey birdy," said Dan, and he leaned over her as well, as Wren reached out for Dan's bushy, bearded face.

Wren made a fussy noise, reaching for Holly's shirt, and she sighed.

"I'm nothing but a food dispenser to you, aren't I?"

Wren took Holly's finger in her own hand, and Holly wriggled the finger, stroking Wren's face with her thumb.

"She loves you," said Dan, and he kissed her on the temple.

"Inasmuch as she can love anyone," said Holly, and she pushed her shirt up, offering Wren one breast.

Wren latched on, nursing loudly, and Holly rocked her, looking down at her with an adoring expression.

"Greedy baby, greedy baby," she sang.

"I'm gonna go wake up Morgan and Ross," said Dan.

"They might already be awake," Holly pointed out. 

"I don't hear anyone moving around outside," said Dan. 

"They might be... you know, _busy_ ," said Holly, waggling her eyebrows.

"Not in front of the baby," Dan said, scandalized.

"Dan," Holly said, "we have literally had sex with her in the room."

"... I mean," said Dan, and he blushed.

Holly grinned, and then she winced, as Wren bit down.

"Ow," Holly grumbled, and she patted Wren on the back, gently. "Teeth, baby."

"She's got a tooth?"

"Well, no, but she's got the biting reflex down, that's for sure."

"My kid is gonna be a champion biter," Dan said, and he sounded genuinely proud.

Holly snorted, and she kissed the top of Wren's head, as the baby nursed noisily, one hand on Holly's breast, her eyes shut.

The sunlight streamed through the curtains, and she looked over at Dan, who was gilded in gold.

God, but he was so gorgeous.

It wasn't fair.

She sighed, and Wren pulled off of her nipple, giving Holly a gummy smile.

Dan's whole face was transformed, and Holly leaned against him, as Wren re-attached, going back to nursing loudly. 

* * *

They had a tree, on Ross's insistence. 

It wasn't a real one, because... well, where were they going to get an evergreen in the middle of LA?

But everyone was wearing cute Christmas sweaters, even Wren, and many adorable pictures were taken.

The cutest one was probably of Wren on Ross's chest, as he slept on the beanbag chair, Morgan cuddled up to him, their expression fond.

"How about you guys enjoy some private time?"

Holly blushed.

"I can give you your present," Holly told Dan.

He was looking... well, honestly, he was looking adorable.

Morgan had bought him a knitted Giants hat, and he was wearing it, compressing his crazy head of hair. 

"... sure," said Dan. "What kind of present am I expecting?"

"A good one, hopefully," Holly said, not even trying to hide her nervousness.

"You got it, so hopefully you know if it's good or not!"

"... you'll see," Holly said again, and she kissed him.

* * *

She kissed him on their bed, straddling him, pulling back to breathe against his lips, forehead to forehead.

His hand was on her ass, squeezing it, and she ground against him.

"So," she said thickly. 

"So is this my present? Some wonderful pre-Christmas dinner sex?"

"... I'm gonna let you put it in my butt," Holly said.

Dan shivered against her.

"You mean my dick?"

"... what else would I be talking about?"

"I have no idea," Dan said, "but I've been waiting to hear you say that for a _really_ long time, so the fact that you're saying it now is making me stupid."

"That was surprisingly insightful, for someone as stupid you're claiming to be," Holly teased.

Dan kissed her again, and his hands were cupping her face, stroking her cheekbones with his thumbs.

"I do my best," Dan said, and he actually _lifted her up_ , so that she was flat on her back, pushing her sweater up to kiss along the softness of her belly, to the fullness of her breasts.

They were hard - she was probably going to need to nurse Wren later, when they had finished.

She moaned as he fastened onto her nipple, squirming, and he moaned around the nipple in his mouth, then kissed her again, sharing the taste of her own milk with her.

It was thick, creamy, sweet, and okay, it was a bit weird, but he was enjoying himself, and she was as well - the arousal was already beginning to slicken up her pajama pants, building in her belly.

"I'm gonna eat you out," he told her, kissing down her body, until he was at the waistband of her pajama pants.

"But... this is your Christmas present," Holly said, blinking down at him.

"How is getting a faceful of your gorgeous puss not, like, the meaning of the season?" 

"... what?"

Holly looked down the line of her body, as Dan pulled her pajama pants down and off, kissing up he thighs. 

"... it made sense in my head," said Dan, nuzzling into her vulva. "I don't really... get the whole Christmas thing, so I'm just using what I gleaned."

"And you gleaned that cunnilingus is an important part of the season?"

"Pretty much," said Dan, and then he was licking her, from her clit to her entrance, using his whole furry face to hold her open.

She groaned, her heels digging into the bed, and he wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked on it, then let go, his tongue sliding into her, wriggling, and she moaned and sobbed, clutching at her own hair, humping into his face.

"God," Dan moaned, "you're so gorgeous like this...."

She was blushing, her hands in her own hair, and he held on to her hips, then moved his hands lower, to cup her ass, pulling her closer to his face.

She whined, then keened, as he began to lick her harder, her eyes rolling back in her head, and then he was sliding his tongue in and out of her, fucking her with it, humping his face, sobbing. 

"Oh... god, Dan, _fuck_!"

He grinned against her thigh.

"When Wren learns to talk, we are so fucked," he told her thigh, the vibrations moving across the skin.

She shuddered.

"Can we not talk about the baby right now?"

"Right, right," said Dan, and he dove back in with his usual amount of enthusiasm.

Oh _god_. 

* * *

Holly came three times, before he started licking lower.

She hadn't expected him to... well, go all the way to eating her ass, although in retrospect, it wasn't that much of a shock, was it?

But there were his hands on her hips, angling her back, and he was beginning to lick her asshole, his tongue inside of her.

It was... it felt a lot better than it had a right to, considering the fact that he was literally just licking her, but... oh....

One of his hands left her hips, to go to her clit, rubbing it with his thumb, and she was twitching around it, already primed up, and she was going to cum, she was going to cum so hard, and it was going to be with his tongue in her butt.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that, but she wanted to keep... exploring the strangeness of it.

And then she was cumming again, explosively, and she was boneless and shaking, staring at him dazed as he came up for air.

"Okay," Dan said. "I think your butt is ready."

"My butt is ready," she echoed.

"You're pretty damn relaxed," he said, and he slid the very tip of his finger into her, aided by his spit.

She sighed, as he probed, and then he was further in, until the whole of his finger was in her, and... okay, that felt a bit strange, but... she wasn't going to complain.

"Right," Dan said, breathless. "Maybe roll over onto your stomach? It'll make it easier."

"Right, right," Holly said, as she lay flat on her belly, pressing her face into her arms.

* * *

He stretched her carefully with his fingers and plenty of (cold) lube, filling her up, and it was... it was odd.

He'd put his fingers up her butt a few times, but this was much more... purposeful.

And there were more fingers.

She let time fly away from her, until he was fully on top of her, his breath on her neck.

"Honey?" 

"Mmm?"

"I think you're ready. Are you ready?"

She nodded.

"Okay," said Dan, and then there was some arranging, and he was... getting out the vibrator?

It was the big beast of a vibrator - the magic wand, which they didn't use that often, because it was so loud.

But Wren was downstairs, and everyone knew that they were having sex, so... fuck it.

There was some rearranging - he wanted to see her face as he fucked her in the ass for the first time, and that had required some pillows under her hips, and then there was wrangling the vibrator.

But it ended with the damp, blunt head of Dan's cock pressing against her asshole, as her muscles tried to pull him in.

"You want it so badly," he said thickly.

"Yeah," she said. "Are you gonna put it in?"

"I'm savoring it," he complained, his tone fond.

She rolled her eyes, and he snickered, and then he was sliding into her, slowly, carefully, aided by so much lube that they were going to have to wash the pillow cases.

But... oh.

That was new.

A fullness she wasn't expecting, the heat of it enough to scald her.

"You gonna turn the thing on?"

He indicated the magic wand.

She nodded, licking her lips.

"Yeah, uh... hold... hold on."

There was a click, and then it was buzzing against her.

Oh _fuck_ , but that was sweet.

She arched her back, which forced him a little deeper, and she squeezed around him, panting.

"Oh, fuck," Dan breathed, and he drew his hips back, then thrust back in, shallowly.

"You're so tight," Dan said. "You're so tight and hot, it's... amazing."

She sobbed, her legs falling wider, and then his hand - his clean hand, she noticed, no lube - was on her vulva, two fingers sliding inside of her, which probably felt just plain strange, considering the buzzing of the magic wand.

But he was drawing back, beginning to fuck her slowly, his cock in her ass, his fingers in her vagina.

There was something just... satisfying about being this stuffed.

... she'd have to ask Ross and Dan to do this with her, some time.

The magic wand was a relentless, noisy force against her clit, and she groaned, flexing around him, and she ground her hips forward, humping against him, humping against the toy, losing herself in the sensations.

"God, you're so beautiful," Dan said, and he was beginning to move a little faster, the muscles of his stomach clenching, her pussy clenching his fingers tighter.

It was all a blur of pleasure, of slight pain - she wasn't used to this much friction, even with this much lube - of the sensation of being filled, of being given pleasure, of giving pleasure.

She came before Dan, and she came around him, explosively, wetly, all over his belly, his fingers.

He came in her ass - it was an explosion of wetness, and he was twitching, kissing whatever he could reach.

He removed his finger (in a gush of wetness), and then he was kissing her on the mouth, gently, softly, and she was kissing him back.

His cock slid out of her, wet against her thigh, and she sighed, letting him lie on top of her.

"There we go," Dan said quietly, and he kissed her. "Thank you."

"I dunno how I'm gonna top this," Holly mumbled, and he grinned, kissing her loudly on the cheek. 

"I have faith in you," he told her earnestly. "I was just gonna give you my dick in a box."

Holly groaned, covering her face with both hands, and she shoved him.

He snorted.

Her nipples were leaking - she always ended up letting down when she came, and it was always a mess.

"You're a dork," she told him.

"And you don't want one in a box?"

She prodded him again, but without much malice.

She was too fucked out to do much of anything.

She was going to get up, go to the bathroom, take a shower.

But for now, she was going to enjoy the chance to lie there panting, until she felt like herself again, with one of her husbands lying on top of her.


End file.
